Epedmeic.

There’s a pinch on the left side of my neck. I’m fully reminded of its presence at the limit of my mobility to turn my head. How old am I again, I ask myself? Despite my youth, there are days when I already feel like my life’s sped ahead to 50 years old—not that it’s an old age—it’s just not my age.

And then, of course, there’s this other “neck ache” possibility…this…this…”thing.” This “thing” gives you sweats and nightmares during the night, it steals away appetites and enhances others, it rumbles tummies and yes…it even gives neck cramps. Some call it a full schedule and one too many “I dos.” But its more common, everyday household name is…drum role, please…stress.

I wonder, what causes stress? Is it procrastination? What about devastation? Or maybe it’s magnification? (Sorry, the Dr. Seuss tirade has ended.) While I truly believe these options to be partly the flame that fans stressful moments in our lives, I can’t help but wonder how much patience or lack there of has to do with it.

You see, I’m a very impatient person. I like things the way I want them in the way I want them done when I want them done. Confused? You can relate. Surely I’m not the only lone soul who feels my agenda is better than God’s? Why is it that even though I know God’s plan and timeline is far greater than my concoction for life, I still battle to take hold of the reins and steer the horse, so to speak?

Lately, this is what I’ve been learning. Patience. Not patience that reluctantly and stubbornly accepts the time lapse between the asking and the getting, but patience that welcomes waiting…understanding that it’s not waiting at all. Rather, it’s recognizing that “in the wait,” there’s growth. God is trying to teach me something. He’s answering all those prayers I’ve prayed to look more like Him, to sound more like Him…to be more like Him.

But am I listening to the voice of growth or am I just hearing?

I’m not a patient person, but I’m not a masseuse either (clearly, because my neck cramp would be gone by now). Sometimes we do the things we don’t want to do to get the outcome we need to fully understand that life isn’t all about me. And just because I think I can’t, doesn’t mean I can’t. Just because I haven’t before, doesn’t mean I won’t.

What is God teaching you? Are you listening or just hearing?

Watch out, there’s a neck cramp epidemic going around!