The Gate

The clock on the bottom of my laptop reads 11:22 p.m. And I'm trying to think how I can best articulate the thoughts I hope to share with you this late in the evening. You see, I've just finished reading an email I received in my inbox last week from one of my girlfriends. It talked about this crippled beggar in Acts 3.

Peter and John are on the way to the temple, and they pass this physically disabled guy by the temple gate. Now this temple gate just so happens to be called Beautiful. I mean, picture it--you're walking with a few friends to a local restaurant for dinner, and you pass a homeless guy on the side of the street. I don't know about you, but my first inclination is to turn my head the other way, to ignore his shabby, unclean appearance. But like the beggar in the story, this homeless guy takes a risk and asks if you can spare some change for a cup of coffee.

Now if we do the typical thing, we decline his request. We keep walking, because we have better things to do...we have somewhere to be...we have our stomachs to feed. And yet, I wonder how often we feel like the beggar--ugly, unattractive, broken, friendless, hopeless, and unworthy?

We live in a culture that cries out for independence, but turns around and dictates our acceptability based appearance. Our self-worth, despite gender, is wrapped up in societal standards, and because we don't know how to healthily view ourselves, we believe our value is contingent on our physical appearance. I know this...because I struggle with it.

This continual battle of self vs. Vogue or GQ tears at our inner value, leaving it null-n-void. It causes us to doubt our abilities, and faults us into believing that having a significant other is our "cool" card in life. If I have someone, than I must be somebody. But what they don't tell you in the magazines with the hot models is what to do when you breakup with your "other," your parents get a divorce, you lose your job, you think for the tenth time that day how undesirable you are, you flunk your econ test, and the list goes on.

I'm tired of feeding the mental lies that I'm not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, strong enough....to be worthy of living confidently, full of purpose and meaning. And I know that I'm not the only one who falls victim to this self-defeated battle.

Guy or girl, single or married, graduate or student, employed or unemployed, Christian or non Christian--we all struggle with this societal plague. But I can't help but wonder what would happen if we decided to be like the beggar and quit sitting at the gate of Beautiful, and instead, decided to stand up and walk inside. I think, then, we'd experience the fullness life is meant to carry through an intimate relationship with Christ.

Let me hear your comments. I'm listening.